December 21, 2012. An ominous date for those who believe the Mayans spent their leisure time predicting the end of the world, rather than failing to realize that when it comes to creating a calendar on a round stone, eventually you will run out of room.
Nevertheless, it appears NASA isn't taking any chances, given the assignment of their latest shuttle launch.
"On December 21, 2012, the planets will align in our solar system," said James Kirk, of the NASA Regroup Group. "When that happens, the planets will put an enormous gravitational pull on the Earth's crust."
"But we believe we can offset that effect with these Extreme Doughnuts. As anyone who has gorged on Sunday morning doughnuts in church social halls around the world knows, doughnuts are dense objects. They have tremendous sticking power. And they have a tremendous gravity of their own--humans orbit around them."
NASA believes that putting doughnuts in orbit opposite the moon's path will offset additional effects of gravity from the planetary alignment on 12/21/12.
Stay tuned for the latest developments. We may have new stars to spot in the night sky.